Gone to Crotoan
by StalkerHarry
Summary: A vampire tells his story about the lost colony of Roanoke and how he came into being.
1. Mathias Langley

Time is a very funny thing. It's never what we really want or need. When we need it the most we don't have it and when we want it the least it's all we have. In my many years of living I have seen what time can do. It's quite depressing when one thinks about it. In this day and age when people try everything in their power to stay young and healthy, they go through painful surgeries just to try and look young; it's their way to fight the inevitable. I don't see why. Death comes to _almost _all of us. So why fight it?

I find it especially hard for those who only want death. They would love to know when death is coming for them, to feel death's icy hand on their shoulder it's their way of truly feeling alive. I have seen death only once, it was a long time ago, when I was first created. I know for a fact that death is a man, a very masochistic man. He's definitely not like death in the movies or like the depictions in art where he is the dark hooded figure with the scythe and a skull for a face.

Hostility rolled off him in waves. When he is determined nothing can stop him. He has long fingers and is perfect in the extreme. It's quite intimidating when you're not ready for it. He is very pale, strong and influential. He always seems to know what you're thinking the time of your death and is more than glad to bring it up when he's there. At least that's how he looked to me. When I think about it I'm someone's death.

I have also seen many people die. People who have claimed to have died say they saw a white light and heard heavenly voices. They say that they saw God on his throne inviting them through the gates of heaven. They were surrounded by their family and loved ones. Angelic choirs were singing the Hallelujah chorus. With the over whelming feeling of warmth. I don't believe it. To me it's all garbage. Scam artists.

My question is what about those of us who are damned to eternal hell? Do we see the white lights and all that other nonsense? Not saying that I don't believe in God, but I don't believe it. If we're damned what will we see? I think I will see nothing. I think I will here laughing. I think Satan will be laughing at all the souls he has stolen. Especially the ones that had really nothing to do with their damnation; I feel sorry for those like me; doomed to eternal cold. I think that's one of the only things that I'm really scared about. I pray for death, but I don't what to deal with the consequences of what I have done and of what I am.

God is something completely different for me. For as long as I have been around, I have come to know the many gods that people have invented or the many gods that they professed to follow. I think that the most of them follow Him or Her in a false manner. They say that their God is all about forgiveness or all about revenge or all about justice. If that is the case than my kind and I are completely screwed; well for the justice part. If he is completely forgiving than what is sin? Why is there sin if were all going to heaven? What's the point of sin than? Confused! They are all are simply confused.

The God I worshiped when I was able was a perfect and all loving God. He had passions and knew everything that he was supposed to. He is defiantly just and forgiving. He's perfect. I think that everything that we need to know is not in the bible; the bible is complete according to man. The bible is good; but means nothing to me now. To me now it's what man makes of it. But what is man? Man is nothing with out God. He is just another victim for me. He is just waiting for the inevitable. Death. And who are we to judge and decide what God is thinking? Sure I think that God has or will call someone who is a little more sensitive of what he wants. I guess that you could call him a prophet but I don't know. After all God is the same yesterday today and forever. He doesn't change.

Yes, I do believe in God. I bet your thinking that's a bit odd for someone like me. In all my many years walking among humanity I have come to the realization that there is a God. I did lose my faith and belief in him. But as I get older the more I believe that there is a God and that he is there. My beliefs in God are probably somewhat different than what most people believe. I believe that He is aware of everything that we do and that He wants the best for us. I can't help but feel that maybe God will be merciful with me. It's one of his characteristics is it not? Because I didn't choose this fate for me. It was thrust upon me; my humanity was stolen from me. For many years I tried everything in my power to explain and rationalize what I am. I can't. I just hope and pray to see my wife and child again. Although I think that's all in vain. What do you think?

Oh, dear me, I'm sorry. So sorry indeed; I am being extremely rude. I am ranting about everything that I am without telling you who and what I am -- like you all instinctively know what I am. I'll tell you what though; if you ever met me you would have an idea. To be near me must be terrifying, or so I have been told. Hostility seems to just roll of me, just like death for me. Of course my death and I are one in the same. I'm sure people think the same about me.

I was christened Mathias Langley; but as of now I go by Gavin Langley. I was born in London in the year of our Lord, fifteen hundred and sixty-three. The year in which we live now is two thousand and eight. For those who are good with arithmetic would know that I am over four hundred years old; four hundred and forty-five years old to be exact.

How did I get that old? Well sure as hell not by my choice. I was one of the first to arrive on this American continent. I was part of the lost colony of Roanoke. I know exactly what happened to it. So you see it's not really lost, it didn't really go anywhere but I can't tell a soul what really happened to it. If I do I will be shut in a mental institution faster than you could say well "mental institution". Then I would be in there for an eternity; I'm sure that they would believe me after a while but that's beside the point. I would probably then be locked in prison for all the murders that I have committed; and I have committed thousands.

Yes, I am a murderer. Not by choice but because I must. How else would I survive if I didn't? You see, I am a vampire. I am one of the eternally damned. I am actually one of the oldest in North America -- I make sure of that. There are not many on this continent. We have our boundaries. I make sure that I follow them and that my "friends" follow them as well. If not we destroy all that might endanger us and our lifestyle. I don't feel like being hunted. It hasn't happened for along time and I would like to keep it that way.

I know what you're thinking. Vampires don't exist. Well they do and I'm living proof. I know what you're thinking right now as well. If I really am I what I say I am, than I am a monster and that I should die.

Yes, I am a monster; but remember that I didn't choose this life. Plus, humanity has had its fair share of monsters that are not my kind, those who murder with as little remorse as I, but who do it for a different reason. I do it to survive. They do it to be cruel. They do it for power and respect. In my four hundred forty-five years of life I have not killed nearly as many people as Hitler or Stalin in such a short amount of time. Sure, I won't die if I don't eat, but it's extremely uncomfortable when I don't. If I don't feed I become far more dangerous. I procrastinate for as long as I can, but there are no guarantees.

I have never turned a soul into what I am. How could I damn someone to eternal hell? I have become the human _blasphemy_. That is a horrifying thought for me. I have done more research than any other of my kind of what I am and still haven't found the cure. I am beginning to think that there is no cure, that I'm doomed to live in this state of damnation until the second coming of Christ. Even if there is a cure I'm still going to hell. I'll just get there sooner that's all. My humanity what little there is left yearns for something different.

Yes, I'm still human; but not by much. I have lost most of my humanity. I don't know love anymore. Is that a bad thing? Especially for what I am. That person would be in constant danger of being murdered. Whatever, I think that true love is what separates humans from all other creatures. The fact that we can love or I used to be able to love is a powerful gift; a gift I will never have again, nor do I want again. The only real feeling next to hunger and the despising of myself is hatred. No real human could possibly compare or try and understand myself loathing. We have no compassion. I don't care about my pray. There are there to ease my hunger. Compassion for the living is a great tool in humanity. But as I get older I see a lack thereof. It's quite disturbing.

I hate myself and the rest of my kind. I have tried to avoid being what I am, I have tried to kill myself but cannot. I cannot bring myself to bring this last blasphemy upon myself. I am a selfish creature. I think only of myself. I am damned and yet I cannot rid the world of what I have become. Instead I feed and damn myself more and more. The only question that I have ever had is why God would let me live this life? To feast upon his children, to take the lives of mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Sometimes I think that I do indeed have a conscience, but then I get thirsty.

My cursed blood is actually a virus or a disease. I call it hemophilosis. It leaves me intact physically; I live, I breathe, my heart beats, but there is something in the blood that keeps me young. That is what I have not figured out yet. Why is the _blood _so important? What kind of sway does it have on a creature like me? Maybe if I could find the meaning behind the blood I could be able to find the cure. Maybe it's just a vain hope. I don't know.

When one is changed into what I am, one receives a few "gifts". My temperature runs at a chilly thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit. I don't feel the cold and unfortunately I don't feel the warmth either. I have not felt the sun on my face for many, many years. My speed and strength have tripled since I have become what I am. I was a farmer before I was a vampire, so I had strength before but even more so now. My muscles are more defined, so I don't look like a slob. The vampiric disease has made me better looking.

It seems to enhance the physical qualities. I am of medium build, about six-one, brown hair; my eyes were the color of jade before I changed. Now they are crimson. It used to freak me out when I was first changed, but other than that I'm a pretty good looking guy. I'm much better looking now than I was before I was a vampire. My hands have become freakishly big, and my fingers freakishly long. I think that is primarily used for hunting; but I really don't know. They are almost too big for the rest of my body.

I cast no shadow, but I do cast a reflection in the mirror. How that works I don't know. I cast no shadow for two reasons. One, it makes me a better hunter in all conditions; I can sneak behind someone without having to worry about my shadow giving me away. Two, the shadow and a reflection is supposed be the proof of a soul.

Now, why I have no shadow but can cast a reflection in the mirror confuses me. I am assuming though it's for the purpose of grooming. If I don't look my best how can I attract my prey?

Our bodies are in their perfect form. All the scars that we have ever had have disappeared. If we lost a limp in our past life it is brought back to us. If we lost our hair we have it back. It's amazing. I don't stink of course I can't sweat. We all have our own scents. Normally it's a neutral smell. It's nothing too pleasant but nothing too bad.

My eye sight and hearing have changed. They have become more like our friends of the animal kingdom. I can see miles away if I chose. I mean like if I was looking at you form say ten feet away. I see the blood running through veins. The veins will also stick out with my vision. The bigger the vein means more blood. I have an acute sense of hearing. I hear things that normally cannot be heard my humans. I can hear heartbeats. I can hear objects when I'm in full hunting mode. I can't explain how it sounds but I can actually here the lines and make out what the object is.

We as vampires have the ability to change ourselves in mist form. I don't know how it's done; but it makes it easier to get into people houses and slip under the crack of the door.

There are many myths of vampires. I need to clear them up before I can go on to my story and how I became what I am. I must say that I am very fond of crosses. I love them. I have lived in just about every country and lived on every continent there is (excluding Antarctica), and I have collected as many of the as I possibly could. My house is filled with them. The concept that the cross would cause any harm to me is completely foolish. Sure the concept of the cross for most religions is a holy symbol, but what if you meet an atheist who is a vampire? It would do nothing to him due to the fact that he believes in no such being as God. The same thing with a Jew, they don't believe in Christ, or for a Muslim, who believes in neither.

Then next is that we cannot go out into the sunlight. Again that is a myth. I love sunny days. The only problem is that if we go out into the sunlight that our skin gives us away. It's unnatural how pale I am. The only thing paler than me would be a corpse, plus my skin, it's translucent. How creepy is that? I walk into the sunlight and you would be able to see just about everything in my face.

There is the question about the stake. Does a stake kill a vampire? Well of course it does. Think about it, if you stab anything in the heart with a large, sharp piece of wood, it's going to die. Well, I guess if you're a zombie it won't kill you but I haven't met any zombies. Like I said vampires are human in a way. Our heart still beats all though we have died and have been reborn in this disease. We die just like all other things, well, except for natural causes. Well maybe natural causes for who we are. Like I said we can't die of old age. If we get hurt we have the ability to heal ourselves in a matter of seconds only if we have fresh blood in our systems. If we don't than it takes longer. Being in the sun slows our regeneration. Stakes may kill us but if one wants to do the job in the best way it would be by burning us to ash.

Does garlic affect me in any way shape or form? No. I understand that garlic had many uses in medicine when I was younger, but it never really did anything. The scent is ghastly for anybody. Lemons? Lemons have no affect on us at all either. In the German culture lemons were used to guard people from the undead. I think it was used because of the vitamin C that was contained in the citrus.

What I find funny, is out of all the myths about vampires, the one thing that we can't bear is the rose. The perfect hunter, the human blasphemy is scared of something as small and insignificant as the rose. As beautiful as they are we cannot near them. Alice was very fond of them.

Dogs, I hate dogs. All other animals in the animal kingdom will run at our presence, except for dogs. They have a superior scent they can smell us from about a hundred yards away. If they see us they will attack or alert their master if they have one. Dogs will act funny when we are near. Even if they loathe a person, they will do what they can to protect him or her. Usually it doesn't matter what kind of dog, but it seems to me that dogs that are completely black with the exception of a white dot on the forehead are especially sensitive to our kind. They will never back down no matter how powerful the vampire is. The older we get the stronger and more fearsome we become. Damn dogs just won't learn.

I think the next and last question would be if I live off blood. Yes, for the past four hundred years or so I have lived off the life source of living things. I live the life of a parasite. I post-pone my feeding for as long as I can. I hate to steal the life of a human being. Why don't I try to live off something else, like an animal? In a sense, their blood is not blood. With hemophilosis, the body can tell the difference between blood types. My body can't function with the ingestion of animal blood. So I can't go and hunt man's best friend for eternity. It just doesn't work that way. If I could do that, I would not think myself a monster.

I am prone to live near hospitals. I prey and feast upon the sick and helpless. Those that are about to die -- I steal them. They are going to meet their maker sooner rather than late, I just push it a long a little faster than what they appreciate.

Blood has quite a distinct scent to it. For you, it smells of salt and rust. For creatures like me, it reeks of what we desire the most. Once again a cruel joke has been played on me. I'm stuck with the scent of Alice as my craving. I mean that when I go and "hunt" my prey's blood smells of my wife. Perverse is it not? When a child is my victim, he or she smells of my sweet Isabella.

Cursed and disgusted because I can't stop myself or stop who I am. Perverse because I enjoy it so much, I have become very masochistic. Sometimes I will purposely hunt children to so that I may gain a glimpse of my little Isabella. I rob families of their children because of my pain. I am a monster.

Alice and Isabella, if I ever see you again I hope that you can forgive me of my blasphemies.


	2. The Dream

Looks good, Sean

As we boarded the ship to leave our home forever I had the feeling that this was something I shouldn't be doing. I knew that I shouldn't be worrying about something so stupid but it involved my family. Last time we went to the new world they didn't have their families. I should feel lucky. Every one told me that it was for God and country, that it was England's right to put colonies over the world. That didn't help. It seemed to me that Queen Victoria was a little greedy when it came to land. We have only been there once before and that ended in tragedy. _How was this going to end?_

"Alice honey, do you feel right about leaving, about going to new world?" there was fear in my voice making it quiver a little. I tried hard to disguise it with excitement but it's one and the same to me. I didn't want her to think of her husband as a coward but I couldn't help feel an unknown fear.

"No why? Are you have second thought about leaving?" she replied. A little smile crossed her face as she spoke these words; letting me know that it was ok to fear the unknown. "It's perfectly normal to fear the unknown you know. Why do you think so many fear death? It's foreign soil. We all have our beliefs on what will happen but we don't know for sure. We must have just a little faith in our Lord." She always has a way with making the most uncomfortable situations feel like home. She more often than not turned everything in the Lords hands. _Her faith is always stronger than mine_ I thought while nodding my head in agreement.

"I hope little Isabella has your faith."

"I know." Was her reply as a loving smile spread across her face.

"You must forgive me but I have always been a pessimist. I love you and Isabella but… well, its just…" I sighed "I don't know what's going to happen. Don't you remember what happened to the last time we went to this "new world"? Everyone died. This place doesn't sound too hospitable." I started to feel lighter as I let my concerns bubble out. "I'm just scared for you and Isabella."

"Mathias you are exaggerating now. Not everybody died. Remember the colonist came back to England. We will even have some soldiers help us in our new home. There is no need to fear." She smiled again hoping to relieve me of my fear but to no avail.

I moved my eyes from her gaze and started to stare at the vessel ahead of us. I was never a seaman. So seeing the ship was somewhat startling. I never thought that ships could be this big. But as I moved closer to the docks I saw more and more ships materialize and I realized that this was the smaller of the ships. My thoughts had completely enveloped me when I was forced to stop "Isabella you need to settle down. No need to act like a heathen. I know you're excited but calm down until we are on the ship." I said as I placed my hands into the hands of Alice and Isabella when one of the solders stopped me from boarding.

"Names?" He questioned while looking on his list. I couldn't help but look at the vessel that was to take us to our new home. The ship was painted white. The paint had already begun to fade showing its signs of frequent use. The deck was made out of a darker wood but it too was also fading in color. The ship seemed old and too me didn't really look up the trip that it was about to make.

"It's Langley sir." I replied with a smile. He continued to look at the list of names not really looking up. "Are you sure that this vessel will be able to make it to Virginia?" It was as if the world stopped at this moment to look at me. His mouth fell open in disbelief.

"What are you playing at sir?" he implored.

"Well, it just looks a little old to me. Like… it might… you know fall apart before our eyes. Just look at it." The ship was a little old but it was sturdy enough.

"Excuse my husband Mr.?"

"The name is Smith, Matthew Smith."

"Well Mr. Matthew Smith my husband is just a little frightened by the fact that we will never be coming back to our families and home here. When he is nervous he has a tendency to ask thoughtless questions and make an ass of himself. Hence the investigation about this lovely sea faring vessel. I do hope that you can forgive him of his rudeness." She gave him a smile that she always used on me when she wanted something I normally wouldn't let her have. After the smile I usually caved in and bought it for her. So I knew that he would cave in as well.

"Well that's all right. It is a little rundown. It could also use some new paint as well. Maybe I should bring that up to the captain."

"Oh, no need for that we are going to be inside it most of the time anyway." She replied.

"Mathias, Alice, and Isabella?" he questioned.

"Yes."

"Alright, you may go up." He smiled at Alice and Isabella but glowered at me and for my twenty questions.

I picked Isabella up and started toward the ramp onto the boat. "Did you have to use that smile? You know it's not going to work on me next time. I'm only going to be able to think about Mr. Smith the next time that you use it." I said morosely.

"Well of course I had to use it. If it works on you than it must work on other people as well. Plus, I don't think that we want a guard angry with us this soon on our trip. You were only making him angry you know that don't you? I was trying to avoid a potentially dangerous situation."

"Well avoiding it or not he is gushing over you as we speak, and as being your husband I am the only one allowed to gush over you and fall to your wicked wiles as a women. After all we are bound to each other; in case you have forgotten. Plus do you think it necessary for Isabella to see that?"

"I thought it was funny daddy." She said in her doll like voice. Her voice matched her perfectly. She was a little small for her age. But to me all five year olds were small. She had a long curtain of mouse brown hair like her mother and she had her mother's eyes as well, they were big and they were the lightest azure blue this world has ever seen. Her face is very fairiesque. Her nose was somewhat pointed at the end. She had full crimson lips and she was somewhat pale. In other words next to my wife she was the most beautiful creature that I have ever seen.

Alice was of course the most beautiful creature the Lord had ever created. It was like a blessing that I was able to find her before anybody else. She was small and petite about five foot four inches and had extremely long mouse brown hair. She was also pale and had blue eyes not as light as Isabella's but still beautiful. When you looked into them you had the feeling of home and that you could not lie. Her lips were nothing like Isabella's, her upper lip was little more than a line and her bottom was fuller than the top. They were the color of a pink carnation. Beautiful.

When we were all aboard we made our way down to the belly of the ship to place our belongings where we were going to be sleeping. The compartment that my family had was extremely small. We all could barely fit but we managed somehow. It was made out of wood of course in the shape of a square. It looked like they took the brig and made them into bedrooms. We had a single bed that could hardly fit two people on it but we were happy and we had a single lamp for the evenings. We didn't use it much due to the fact that we were hardly down there at night. Isabella was afraid to stay down there by herself at night so one of us was always going to bed with her.

As Isabella was sleeping my thoughts turned to the new start that I was going to begin, I thought that maybe I could actually make a living for my family. That they would not have to go without, that Isabella would be able to have the things that I never had as a child. I was thinking of the house that I wanted to build, the garden that I wanted to have and the happiness that we would feel. These thoughts courted me into the oblivion of sleep.

"It's amazing how dark it is." I said loudly more for myself than for anybody else. It _was dark_, a little too dark for a summer evening. I was standing on the outskirts of a vast forest. Only the silhouette was visible from where I stood.

"I would at least have thought that the moon would be out tonight." I said as I looked up at a lunar eclipse. "You would think at least the stars would shine but nothing. My, this is an odd night!"

I looked to the forest as a wind swept by me bringing the sound of a faint voice with it. The wind rushed past again and as I heard the voice it seemed to me that the forest itself beckoned me. I stood perplexed; I knew not where I was or what I was doing and I was completely alone but the voice was so familiar and I didn't know where I heard the voice before this moment in time.

So instead of standing there like a fool I started walking to edge of the vast forest that seemed to hang there, not really touching the ground, not really rooted into the soil just there. The light or the lack there of must have been playing tricks on my mind because that couldn't really happen but I made my way non-the less into the forest without a second thought.

As I was traversed through the lightless forest knowing vaguely where my feet were taking me. They were taking me to the voice deep inside of the forest but other than that I knew not where I was. I noticed that I had never been here before; I had never even stepped out of London where I was born and raised. Yet, there was something strangely familiar about this place. My feet knew where to go but my mind was completely lost.

What was more upsetting was that I had the feeling that something horrid was waiting in the wings. That maybe death was waiting. Yet, I could not bear the fact of turning around and going in the other direction. I knew that something horrible was going to happen and yet, my masochistic self wanted to push forward and see what death looked like.

Upon these feeling's I noticed that I wasn't alone. That an Indian guide was right beside me, he snuck up on me soundlessly. I jumped at the sight and I noticed who it was. It was Manteo.

"Manteo is that you? Where did you come from?"

"It doesn't matter where I came from; it only matters where you are going. You're not safe here and I implore you to return to the village with me." His reply sounded anxious almost fearful.

"Are you alright? What's the matter?" He didn't reply. He just looked at me with urgency in his eyes. Confusion washed over me as I realized what he said earlier. The village? I knew not of the village of which he spoke. "Have we made it to the new world?" I asked trying to hide my excitement and fear but failing horribly.

He did not reply and urged me to follow him with his hand. I told him that I could not and that if he wanted to that he could return on his own. He was not pleased as he made his way in the other direction. As he walked away I knew that I had made the wrong choice. Fear swept over me again. It wasn't really a fear of the unknown but more of a fear of being left alone, but I felt that I owed it to myself to push forward.

With every step a feeling of dread and fear seeped into my body. It was the forest, it emitted this foul spirit. This same spirit from the woods seemed to beckon me further into the forest until I entered into a small clearing all the while the familiar voice getting louder and louder. I had no idea where I was but once again the sense of familiarity washed over me. I became very frustrated with myself and the lack of information that I felt I should have.

In my frustration with my predicament I looked to the heavens and noticed that there were actually stars out on this dark night. The stars were clumped together just above the clearing that I found myself in. I counted only one hundred seventeen stars in the night sky. All of a sudden, almost as if it didn't really happen, the stars began to fall and lose their luster. Like God was angry or disgusted by their faint glow; and pushed them from the sky.

_What is going on here?_ Were my first thoughts as I saw the stars falling. I could feel that the abominable spirit that brought me to this spot had some how rested in this little clearing. I looked around in confusion and I couldn't seem to be able to put the two things together. In the light of the falling stars I was able to make out a small village where I stood.

"Could this not be the village that the guide was talking about? If not where did it come from?" My voice just a little more than a whisper. "It couldn't have. Manteo, he went in the other direction. This is something completely different. Is this what he was afraid of? The evil spirit that I have felt throughout my walk is stronger here than any other place."

I could only speak in whispers; almost as if my voice wasn't capable of getting louder like it was afraid to wake an unseen, sleeping evil. The familiarity of this foreign place was astounding. I could not put my finger on why or how I knew this place but I knew it. I knew it like I knew my wife and child and yet it was still foreign. I could see the small houses that made up this forgotten township. I had seen it but yet I knew not where.

I saw that the vegetation of the forest had languorously covered everything in sight; as if to cover the shame of what happened here. I could make the outlines of the small houses that once were occupied by their happy families with maybe a dog or two. I noticed that one house had steps leading up to the front door. It was something that I always wanted for my house. I always felt that steps were a sign high class. Don't ask me why but I always thought that they were something to be desired.

As I focused on the quaint steps leading into the house, I could almost see little Isabella running up the steps to Alice for a warm embrace. I could hear the laughing and smell the cooking of a dinner that was prepared with the greatest care and love for Isabella and I, but I never came. I was never part of this beautiful vision. I was sure that if heaven was on earth than this was it. It was where my family was happy and well taken care of, but I could not find myself in the picture, I was nowhere to be seen.

"If this is heaven than where am I", at that moment the most overwhelming sense of confusion rested in my heart.

"Where was I?" I whispered. In that same instant when I spoke those words; it was as if the malefic spirit heard and answered by filling the night air with a scream to announce its awakening. The scream was not one of laughter or of pleasure but one of pure agony and pain. As I looked to where the scream had come from I noticed that it wasn't the spirit of the forest but it had come from one of the houses. I knew it. I looked to the windows to see which house it came from. I saw one in the distance with a welcoming light emanating form it.

When I walked into the house I noticed how familiar it was. Than I realized that it my house in England. The fire place was on the right of me and straight ahead was the kitchen. I looked to my left and the door to the bedroom was open and I could see the neatly made bed. In the far corner was another opening to Isabella's room. I turned my eyes and saw my beautiful wife in the corner crouching over something that I could not see. A wave of irrational fear forced itself into my body and dread followed.

"Alice, is that you?"

"Alice?"

"Alice… who is that on the floor?" I tired to suppress my fear but to no avail. My voice sounded shaky, confused but deep inside I knew who it was in the corner but unwilling to believe.

"Alice who is it?" I said with more force.

There was no reply. I stood and waited but she continued to huddle over the figure. As I surveyed what Alice was doing I was able to see the feet of a child. A little girl to be exact, a second wave of fear spread over me like a fever.

"Alice who is it?" I inquired as anger settled in my voice. It was an unnatural sound as Alice and I were not prone to yelling or fighting. Alice continued to crouch over the figure.

Finally as anger took over my soul I ran over to where Alice was and I pulled her off the figure. To my abhorrence but not to my surprise I saw our child Isabella lying face up with a look of horror on her face. She was pale and week. The red trails of tears had stained her beautiful face.

"Isabella are you alright? What was your mother doing to you?" Fear had crept once again into my voice. She just laid there crying. I turned to her mother to question her as to what she was doing.

In the fire light Alice had a lack of warmth in her face. In all actuality she looked angry with me. Her eyes that used to be an azure blue had turned into the most horrific crimson I had ever seen. Her skin that once had a pale tint to it was now a translucent white. It was inhuman how pale she was. Instead of having an aura of love and welcoming around her she had a hostile and deadly feel to her. Her anger seemed to have dispersed because she was smiling a smile that scared me to no end. A red liquid had covered her face and was dripping from her chin onto her chest.

As I looked back to Isabella I saw that her neck was bleeding. I looked more closely at her neck to find that it had been badly hurt. It looked like an animal had attacked her and chewed on it. I was at a complete loss of words. I looked back at Alice and she moved closer to Isabella and me and began to nibble on my ear. I pushed her away from me.

"What the hell were you doing to Isabella?" I asked with disbelief and anger in my voice. It just didn't make sense. Nothing was computing in my brain. I saw what she was doing, the evidence was right there but I wasn't able to make any sense of it. Our child was dying and it was because of something that she did and she has the audacity to try and seduce me.

I looked back at Isabella on the ground and saw that her breathing had become erratic and shallow. The fear of the death of a loved one came over me. The tears formed without my permission and I gave into them. I fell onto my knees with my head in my hands.

"Why… How could you do this? She was our little girl." Agony deep in my voice.

I looked back at Alice I noticed that she was kneeling right beside me. I didn't see or hear her come next to me. I looked into her eyes for some sort of explanation and found myself lost. I couldn't help but look into her horrid, haunting, beautiful crimson eyes. My mind told me it was wrong but my body stayed and yearned for her touch. All the warnings in my mind were going off and yet I couldn't move. The world around me melted into nothing. It was just Alice and I in the room. I forgot about Isabella on the ground and I didn't even want her. All I wanted was to be in Alice's embrace.

As she wrapped me in her arms she kissed me. My heart mourned and sang with joy at the same time. It was something I really wanted and yet she was nothing like the Alice that I fell in love with. She was absent of all love and tenderness.

Her small head moved from my lips, to my jaw, to my neck kissing all the way down. An excitement of our courting days rushed through my body. As I felt her kiss my neck she began to playfully bite it.

"What has gotten into you Alice?" I asked in disbelief as I pushed her away. This is far from normal behavior for Alice. "What did you do?" the grief was thick in my voice but the sorrow that I wanted to feel wasn't there. The only thing that I felt was an indescribable feeling to kiss Alice and leave this awful scene. As she pulled me closer she began again to kiss and bite my neck.

Slowly the biting became harder and harder until I thought that I couldn't stand it but yet I couldn't pull away from her cold embrace. I was at home; it was peaceful but my mind was restless and screamed at me to run. I couldn't run and I didn't know why until I felt that she had broken the skin on my neck and continued to bite. Something seemed to have numbed the pain so that I couldn't feel that she was chewing and sucking on my neck. I could feel her move deeper and deeper into my neck but I couldn't run away. The feelings that came upon me were almost indescribable.

It was an experience that I have never felt. It was a sexual, euphoric but most of all it was lethargic. I wanted her more than I have ever wanted someone in my entire life but I knew that I couldn't. The joy that I was feeling was something that I never felt before; it was more so than that of my marriage or that of the birth of my daughter but something wasn't right. The lethargy was overwhelming. I couldn't move; I didn't want to move. I enjoyed her evil embrace but something was holding me back; it was keeping me from giving into my desire.

It was fear and _repulsion_. With all that was happening and with the strong urge to take her and make love to her there was a fear and a repulsion that caused me to stop and stand still. It caused me to rethink my actions. She is my wife. How could I fear my wife or more importantly why was I so repulsed by her? The warnings in my head were blaring causing me to wake from the lethargic state which held me bound.

As I came back to my senses I pushed as hard I could against Alice but my strength was that of a child; after a while I was able to mustered enough strength to push her off of me. I was feeling tired and weak. Something had drained my strength and energy. It must have been from the lack of blood.

"What is wrong?' her voice was that of silk. Smooth, comforting and alluring. "Don't you love me?" she asked.

I ignored her question and looked down at Isabella but she was already rising. My heart was jumping with joy until she looked into my eyes. She had the same eyes as her mother. They weren't the blue that I loved but the crimson I feared.

Before I knew it I was out of the door running into the night and the forest. As I ran I felt that eyes were on me the whole way. There was nothing that I could to avoid the hidden stares. They followed me everywhere I went.

I ran away from the scene but my masticated neck continued to bleed profusely causing light headedness. I stumbled as I ran but I did not look back. The eyes that I ran from continued to follow me. I couldn't run fast enough or hide quick enough from the relentless eyes.

I stopped not far from the beginning of my journey and saw a man exit the forest. He shined in the moonlight. He was barefoot and had extremely long hands. His eyes were only focused on me. They burned with a dark desire to rid the world of my existence. They burned crimson like Alice's and Isabella's. He was extremely handsome. When he moved he moved with a grace of a predator. My eyes couldn't be torn from his gaze as he walked closer.

When he got to me he didn't say a word; he just stared at my bleeding neck. He placed one of his icy hands on my shoulder and the other on my head and pushed them in the opposite directions. I winced from the pain. He moved his head closer to inspect the wound but he didn't help he just bit down hard on my neck. I felt nothing.

As I woke form my dream Alice was right beside me. She had a look of concern as she watched me jerk up form the laying position.

"Is everything okay?" she asked with deepest of \ concern as she hugged me tightly and as she placed her head on my neck. I pushed her away and ran into the corner of our little room.

"Don't you touch me! Don't get near me you just stay away from me. What the hell did you that to our daughter? What is the matter with you? How could you do that? She is only five years old. Are you mental?" I screamed.

"What did I do?" she asked as the tears welled up in her eyes. "Isabella is fine." she choked out.

"Where is she?" anger colored my voice.

Isabella sat up from where she was laid. "What's the matter daddy?"

I ran to her and held her tight. The tears formed and fell freely. "Are you all right?" I asked as I kissed her.

"What's the matter daddy?" she asked again. She had rarely seen me cry and never did she hear me speak that way to her mother.

Alice walked cautiously towards us. I inched myself and Isabella away from her. She began to cry harder at my apparent fear and repulsion at the sight of her. I could only hold and kiss little Isabella for a time before I realized that it was a dream. The fear and suspicion lingered.


End file.
